Thursday, December 19, 2024

Finding Joy and Balance: Navigating Christmas as a Single Mom

Show Notes

Balancing the festive cheer with the realities of single motherhood can feel like juggling snowflakes in a blizzard. As a single mom navigating the Christmas season, I'm sharing my journey from excitement to exhaustion and offering strategic insights to keep the holiday spirit alive without breaking the bank.

But let's not forget the importance of taking care of ourselves amid the holiday chaos. This episode focuses on the necessity of self-care, emphasizing that setting aside a little extra for personal joy is just as crucial as finding the perfect gift for our kids.

https://singlemomsunitedpodcast.com/

It's not how you arrived at the title, but what you do with it.

Show Transcript

Hey ladies, welcome to the Single Moms United podcast, where we can't spell united without you.

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Thank you so much for joining today.

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If this is your first time listening, welcome If you're a repeat listener.

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Thank you, thank you, thank you for your loyalty.

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I cannot express that enough.

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As I listen back to my podcast and I'm like, oh my gosh, I sound so nasal For you all that are pushing through it and paying attention to the content.

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Virtual high five to you, fist bump.

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I certainly appreciate it.

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All right, so let's get down to the nitty gritty of today's episode, which is entitled Excited but Exhausted, and this really links back to the Christmas holiday season.

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So much is going on and, as a single mom, if you are working, like I was working a whole lot was happening.

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Most of it was happening in a short period of time.

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I remember back in the day, you know, raising my kids.

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During that time it was a lot.

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They had Christmas programs at school, christmas programs at school, at church, and then everybody wanted to do something different.

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And then you had to go Christmas shopping.

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You had to find money to buy the presents, then you had to hide the presents or hide the merchandise before you wrapped it and then put it under the tree.

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Make sure you had an equal amount of presents for each kid.

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Now, if you only have one child, so you're doing good, but for me I had to make sure I had an equal amount, because they will point it out how come he got more than I did?

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How come she got more than I did?

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Or she got one more than me, or he got one more than me.

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Blah, blah, blah.

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Right, I had to make sure there were a balanced number of presents During this time, in the short period of time trying to work again, make sure, getting them ready for school and then Christmas break.

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What's going to happen during that time?

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Where are they going to be and how am I going to keep them occupied, and so forth.

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So it's very stressful, extremely stressful time of the year when it's supposed to be very exciting, and that's why this episode is titled Excited but Exhausted.

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One of the things again is exciting, really motivated me with my kids is just the look on their faces as they open the presents, level of excitement and especially when they got what they wanted or what they asked for, because I tried to do at least one item, giving them something that they asked for and the rest was what I can afford.

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If they needed clothes and things like that, then a good percentage of that money went towards that.

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So there was a level of benefit in it for me as well.

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It wasn't just all about OK, mommy, I want this, I want that.

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Ok, I pick one thing off of the list that I could afford and I bought it for them.

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Sometimes I had to consolidate, like the game consoles.

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Yeah, this is for both Okay, because if it's 200 plus dollars, y'all gonna share this.

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How about that Single mom?

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That's something you have to consider.

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And some of you probably are not as fortunate as I was, because I was working and I did get a little small bonus every year, so I had a little something to play with.

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And then, you know, I had a 401k and then if we didn't get a good bonus, I have to tap into that to pay for the gifts.

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But most of the time, majority of the time, the bonus covered everything, at least met my needs.

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You know I had to figure out how I was going to disperse those funds.

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A lot of times the Christmas programs or Christmas plays they were in.

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You know I'm like, okay, now I got to set a little bit of this aside because they need this outfit or this Christmas sweater that I got to go try and find, or some other garment, depending on what they were in.

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I had to set money aside for that.

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So guess what that took away from the Christmas gifts?

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It's all good, but it's all about budgeting.

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So, single mom, that's the word budget.

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So not only should you budget throughout the year, your finances during this time of the year, during the Christmas holidays or the holidays in general, budget, budget, budget, budget.

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How much you want to spend on gifts, how much you need to set aside for other celebrations that you have to contribute to.

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Like somebody needs you to bring cookies or whatever.

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I know in the office during that time we had potlucks, so everybody brought a dish into the office, so you had to cook or you had to go buy something extra.

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So, again, you have to set aside additional funds for those events.

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Right Now, for young ladies that say you know what?

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I'm not working, I'm not making enough, I don't get a bonus, I can't tap into this, I can't tap into that.

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Well, you still want your children to have a Christmas, and a decent Christmas.

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Right, there are organizations out there you can tap into, be qualified for, to get some type of gifts for your children.

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I would just ask you, ladies, just seek these out.

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You might can call some local news stations.

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They may have information about local charities, or the good news is, you can Google it.

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You can Google it just to make sure your child, or your children have a couple of gifts, because that's going to make their day right.

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We have to teach our children to remember the reason for the season and even if you don't believe in Jesus Christ was born in Bethlehem, you still should explain to your children the reason for Christmas.

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And it really is all about him and the gifts and that's why we give the way we do, because his life was given for us and we celebrate his birth.

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Your children need to know that birth.

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Your children need to know that.

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As I mentioned in my other episodes around grateful and thankful and Halloween, we have to do a better job explaining to our children why we are celebrating these holidays.

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You know, I talked to my nephew about a couple of weeks ago and I asked him about do you know why you celebrate Halloween?

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Oh, get candy, okay.

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Okay.

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Well, why do you celebrate Thanksgiving?

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I'm not sure, but I know we have turkey.

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Wow, now I'm not pointing fingers at anybody because, listen, I didn't know either.

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We can change things, ladies.

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We can change things if we put our minds to it.

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It doesn't have to stay this way.

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Just because it started out this way, it doesn't have to stay this way.

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Here's the good news.

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When I asked him about Christmas, he said that's when Jesus was born.

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I said oh, thank you Jesus.

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I said, oh, thank you Jesus.

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So I was so excited to hear him acknowledge and understand the reason for the season.

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And, ladies, we have to do a better job Now.

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I did explain that to my kids the reason for Christmas, why we celebrated Christmas, so they have a clear understanding what Christmas means.

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Now here's another thing I did.

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Now some folks may disagree with this, and that's okay.

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That's what makes the world go around.

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I told my kids I'm Santa.

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Santa doesn't exist.

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Everything that you have is because I went out and sacrificed for.

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Now I know some of you are like, oh my gosh, you really did that to your kids.

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It's about explaining reality, which goes back to the topic excited but exhausted, because by the time this was said and done, I could sleep for four days and not have any concerns, right, because of exhaustion.

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Tired, maybe that's another word people are familiar with.

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It's a lot my kids needed to understand.

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This isn't Santa bringing you these toys.

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I can't support sponsoring Santa.

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I can't support that.

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And guess what, ladies?

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From that perspective, I think my kids are fine.

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There's no anger or anything around that.

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And guess what?

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I also didn't take them to the mall and let them sit on Santa's lap.

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I didn't do that.

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It's taking away from the real reason for the season.

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Again, I know some people are not going to agree with that, and that's okay.

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That's okay.

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We ain't mad at each other.

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That's my view, my philosophy, right?

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I believe in reality and teaching reality.

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If you've heard other episodes of this podcast, you know I'm all about reality.

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I'm not going to sugarcoat things, because life isn't going to sugarcoat it.

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It's going to give it to you straight, undiluted.

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As a older single person, oh, I've experienced a lot.

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Oh, I've experienced a lot Undiluted, real life situations.

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If I can pay it forward, then absolutely.

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That's what I want to do and I'm trying to do so.

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At the end of the day.

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Ladies, long story short.

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I know too late.

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Please explain to your children the real reason of the season.

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Also, take time out for yourself.

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If you do get an extra piece of change, some money, take a little bit of that for yourself.

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Go buy you a ring, go buy you a necklace, buy some earrings or maybe a cute pair of boots.

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At the end of the day again one of the things I realized I'm doing all of this for everybody else and at the end of the day, yes, I enjoy my children's smiles.

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I enjoy the excitement that they displayed as they're opening the gifts and finding out the one thing that they asked for they did get.

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That was exciting, but at the end of the day, you know, it's like, okay, none under the tree with my name on it.

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And again, this was really early, early, early on, when my kids were really small.

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I don't know, I just didn't think about myself.

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I would hope that you would take the opportunity if you are getting some form of additional cash during the holidays or have an option to choose something for you, I hope you take advantage of it, because you deserve it.

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You should be a part or be as excited as your children during this time of the year Because, at the end of the day, you move from excitement to exhaustion.

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It's a recovery process, at least it was for me.

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All right, ladies, thank you so much for joining today.

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I really appreciate all of your support.

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If you know another single mom out there that needs to be encouraged and motivated, please share with them.

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Single Moms United podcast.

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Let them know that this is all about them.

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There's not many podcasts out there motivate single moms.

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They talk about everything, but is there a level of motivation, a level of you can do this and here's how you can do this.

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This is what was learned as a result of not doing it this way.

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So share with another single mom.

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I hope you have a fantastic day.

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I hope you have a fantastic week.

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I hope you will encourage your child, letting them know you love them, you're proud of them because guess what, ladies, that goes a lot farther than gifts.

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Any day of the week, you all have a pleasant day and you take care.