15 Truths That Build Stronger Single Moms

Welcome And Why You Matter\n SPEAKER_00 0:01 Hey beautiful people, and especially my single mom's tuning in. Hey, you're carrying the weight, you're making the decisions, and you're showing up even when nobody sees you. And along the way, you've learned some serious life lessons. Welcome to the Mom to Mentor podcast, where you are more than a nurturer, you are a mentor.

And as a mentor, you are your child's first teacher, mom. That's right. And if this is your first time joining, welcome. And if you are a repeat listener, thank you for your loyalty.

Today I'm breaking down the 16 truths that every single mom needs in her toolkit. That you should know and be able to pass along to your children. Now, if you don't have a mentor, I sure hope that you will gravitate towards this podcast because it's all about encouraging and motivating you and giving you tools and resources that will help you be a better parent. Because remember, a good mom teaches.

And that's what this podcast is all about, is giving you the tools and education so you can take it back to your children. As I mentioned before, I'm just gonna talk about some life lessons, and I found that these are a good starting point for you. Now remember, this podcast is not a one size fits all, it's a one size fits most, and it's all about critical thinking, which should ignite and charge your mind to say, hmm, I never thought of it that way. That makes sense.

And let me try this. Let's get the party started. Self-Respect Before Love\n SPEAKER_00 2:11 So the first one is self-respect comes before love. Lady, you have to love yourself.

Because if you don't, others won't either. Understand that lowering your standards just to keep someone will only lead to heartbreak and regret. Learn how to be proud of yourself. Look in the mirror and say, girl, you got this.

Okay? Because it's going to remain with you. And you deserve it. And I know for myself, growing up, I had self-esteem issues.

As a result of that, I had minimal self-respect. But now that I know better and I can look at myself and say, you know what? Nobody's going to turn me away from who I am. Yeah.

And matter of fact, ladies, I have an episode that's about a year old that talks about identity. So I encourage you to go out and listen to that episode because you have to uncover who you are. And that's part of the reason why you don't have that self-respect. But anyway, moving Money As Freedom And Options\n SPEAKER_00 3:29 on.

Number two, money is freedom. Depending financially on others creates silent chains. Oh my goodness, that is so true. You need to know how to earn, save, and invest.

So you never have to stay where you're not respected. That's huge, mom. If you're on public assistance, that's meant to be temporary. Go out and develop your own income.

If it means going back to school, learning a trade, starting your own business, do that. Because otherwise you're going to be always in a chain and depending on someone else. And it's not Spot Fake Friends Early\n SPEAKER_00 4:23 fun. Number three, not every friend is real.

Some people only come for benefits, not loyalty. Learn to read people's intentions. Learn to how discern why people are suddenly in your life. Especially one of the things that I identify as new people enter my life or try to, how about that?

They start asking a bunch of questions. And I'm like, hmm. Really, you ain't here for me because you really want to be in my life. You're here to uncover who I am to see what you can't get from me.

Because when you start asking questions and some of those questions being personal, that means how can I attach on to you? When it seems like people are coming because they want something, you have to learn how to discern that because they're telling you, I'm only here for one reason. I'm not here to support you. I'm not here to pray for you.

I'm not here to help you carry your burdens. How about that? So you have to be careful when people come into your life and they start asking these different questions about who you are and what you represent. Because they're looking to attach to someone that has these capabilities, and I want some.

And sometimes that turns into envy. So again, just be very careful who you let in your life. Anger Control And Smart Responses\n SPEAKER_00 6:07 Number four, anger without control is weakness. When you get angry, and if you don't know how to handle that, you say things, and sometimes some ladies get physical with it, and that's not good.

You have to learn how to display self-control because you're always going to be provoked. Always. But the power lies in staying calm, choosing smart responses or no response at all over emotional outbursts. Because again, it makes you look bad.

Not the person you're arguing with. It makes you look bad. So learn how to walk away. Learn how to say, you know what, this ain't even worth it.

And especially if it's something minor. Hey, you got my order wrong, and you start carrying on and fussing on. Why are you getting so upset over an order being wrong? Versus, you know what?

Excuse me, uh, Mr. or Miss Cashier, this is not what I ordered. And show them the receipt, and this is what I ordered. Can I get the correct order?

All right, it's just that simple. But all this, I didn't order this, and you give me my money back and all of that. That is not good. That is not a good look on you.

You don't wear that well. Manage your anger, ladies, and you're going to get angry. You're going to get angry at your kids, you're going to get angry at society, you're going to get angry. And it's a natural emotion.

But you gotta learn how to manage it. Ambition Circles And Comparison Traps\n SPEAKER_00 8:03 Number five, ambition is contagious. Learn how to get around people who dream bigger than you. Yeah, I want to be around people that don't stop at a hundred yards.

I want to be around people that go the full 500 yards. I want to hear them and how they're creative in their vision and what that looks like. And you definitely want to hang around people that have vision. Okay?

And support that vision. Yep, how can I help you with that? Right? A friend of mine started a home business.

And as a result of that, I was like, I know a little bit about digital marketing. I'd love to help. I'd I'd love to create a logo for you and help get the word out. Because again, maybe later on in life I might want to start my own business.

Who knows? But she's already taken the initiative. So I support her. And by the way, we've been friends for over 50 years.

And I appreciate her vision and what she wants to do and how she wants to implement that in her life. And that's important because I'm like, hmm. Now I'm starting to think, wow, that makes sense. unknown 9:33 Huh.

SPEAKER_00 9:33 I wonder if I could capitalize on that based on my skill set, not her vision, but creating my own, right? And how I can capitalize on my own vision, kind of using her strategy. So again, hang around people that have vision and not folks that talk about folks all the time because that stunts your growth. I try to walk away when those conversations happen because they don't provide value.

Does absolutely nothing for me except realizing that once I leave, you're gonna talk about me. I try to get away from that. And I encourage you to do the same, moms. Number six, comparison ends with peace.

Ladies, someone will always be richer, prettier, smarter, thinner, heavier, whatever the case may be. But the only race worth running is against your past self. Who were you last year this time? Are you still there?

Or have you graduated up since last year? Have you adopted a new skill since last year? Have you changed your behavior since last year? Work on you.

Stop comparing yourself to other people. Stop that. You're better than that. Number seven, health is your greatest Health Choices And Sexual Wisdom\n SPEAKER_00 11:14 asset.

Ask me how I know at this stage in my life. I took my health for granted because as things are starting to break down and pains are starting to hit my body, yeah, I took it for granted. So learn how to treat your body like a temple. Start eating well, put them potato chips down and put that pop down and start drinking more water.

And start moving daily and protecting your sleep if you can, because I know you got kids, because beauty fades, but health sustains. And also, ladies, don't be so quick when you get into that next relationship. Don't be so quick to be intimate with that person. Because again, guys are wired to be sexually attracted to you.

Because if they're not having a conversation to understand who you are from the neck up, then don't give them the benefit of from the neck down. Because all it is doing is putting you back in the same position you're currently in as a single mom. Be wise when it comes to your health. You don't know who else he's entertaining, right?

Because he'll tell you one thing, he could be entertaining someone else, and you don't want to find out the hard way and end up with something as a result of being too free with giving your body away, and that's what it is. So be careful of that. All right. Reputation And Time As Currency\n SPEAKER_00 13:02 Number eight, reputation is fragile.

One careless act can erase years of dignity. Learn how to guard your character, it's more valuable than gold, and it's true. Your reputation is everything. If you lie one time to somebody, they'll never trust you again.

Ever. So learn how to tell the truth. You can't recover from that once you're busted. Number nine, time is expensive, is the most expensive currency.

Spending years in a toxic relationship or meaningless job is the biggest loss. Learn how to protect your hours like money. When you get involved in stuff, does this make sense? You should have goals.

Have I achieved my goal? Okay, and then you have to say, Well, why not? What happened? So now you have to adjust that goal.

When you have these goals, then you don't have to worry about putting your time in places that is not benefiting you. Think about that. Stop giving your time away. All right, number 10, silence can be more powerful than words.

Silence Online And Real Life\n SPEAKER_00 14:52 Again, that just goes back to managing your anger, right? Not every insult or attack deserves a reply. Let me put a stick pin right here. Social media.

It invites questions. What do you think about this? Who do you think the best singer is? Who do you think this is?

Compare this and compare that. Learn how to scroll past that nonsense. I saw about a month ago somebody was trying to compare RB singers. Which one would you prefer?

Why would we do that? And the next thing you know, somebody's arguing and about some silly stuff. No, they're all talented people. Why would you phrase this question of which RB singer is the best?

That is so out of order, inappropriate in my mind, because they all have a unique talent. I could have engaged, right? But then I'm like, why? Why?

So, ladies, learn how to scroll past a lot of that nonsense on social media. Matter of fact, if you could limit yourself to social media, you'll feel a lot better. Sometimes silence cuts deeper than a thousand comebacks. If you and your baby's father are not getting along and he says something out of the way, walk away if you can.

Just let it go. You'll feel better. Your blood pressure stays down because you're not arguing with them about nonsense. Learn how to walk away.

Pick your battles. That's one of the things I learned a long time ago. Everything does not require response. Number 11, find teachers who've walked the path before you.

Mentors Who Save You Years\n SPEAKER_00 16:44 Hmm. How about finding a good mentor? This can save you years of wandering. Yeah, somebody that's already been there.

Sound familiar? Huh? Mom to mentor? Yeah.

Me as an older single mom, everything that you're going through, probably a good majority of 98% of what you're going through, I've already been through it. And so leave me some feedback. I want to have a mentor. I need to talk to somebody in this situation.

Go to my website, single momsunitedpodcast.com, or if you're listening to this on YouTube, leave me some comments. But I want to talk with you. I want to encourage you. I want to support you.

Because a good mentor is going to carry you further. Then you're trying to do it by yourself. And maybe your mom can be your mentor if you have that kind of relationship with her, right? Walking Away And Setting Boundaries\n SPEAKER_00 17:54 But get you a mentor.

Number 12, how to walk away. Staying in the wrong place out of fear or guilt ends lives. Learn that leaving sometimes saves you more than staying ever will. So learn how to leave.

Learn how to walk away. You don't have to go through that. 13 boundaries protect peace. You don't owe everyone access to you, your time, your energy, or your emotions.

Learn how to say no. It's not rude, it's survival. Number 14, kindness should never mean weakness. Kindness With Strength And Education\n SPEAKER_00 18:43 Being kind is noble, but letting people use you is foolish.

So learn the art of being warm but firm. And 15, education is a weapon. Looks and charm fade, but skills and knowledge open doors. A well-educated, well-read woman cannot be easy manipulated.

And I'm gonna raise my hand and say, I'm in uh that number. Because many people don't like me because of the fact that they see I'm not an easy pushover. When you are at that level of discernment of this is what I want, I know who I am. Now you have that confidence level.

If you don't have your degree and want one, go out and and try to get it, and you can do that by going to a company that offers tuition reimbursement, so you can get your degree without being in debt. Yeah. How do I know? That's how I got my degrees.

Yeah. So you can do this too, mom. You don't have to stay where you're at. I have two kids, and I got my degrees later on in life, but I got them.

You can do this too, but you have to be determined. You have to change your mindset. All right, ladies. I said 16, but really it's 15.

Those are your key attributes you want to consider as a single mom to be able to do better. Community Support And Next Steps\n SPEAKER_00 20:43 Ladies, before you head out, I want you to carry this with you. You are not doing this journey alone. Every lesson you've learned, every moment you've pushed through, every win you've created, it all matters.

And is shaping you into the mentor your children will remember. If today's episode encourages you, share it with another single mom who needs a reminder of her strength. Let's build a community where we lift each other, support each other, and grow together. Make sure you follow the Mom to Mentor podcast so you never miss an episode.

And if you want more tools, stories, and guidance for your parenting journey, visit Singlemom's United Podcast.com. Your next step toward intentional motherhood starts there because we are more than moms. Yeah. We are mentors, and every day we choose to rise.

All right, ladies. You have a wonderful day, a fantastic week, and a marvelous month. Take care.