Send us a text This episode dives into the importance of assigning age-appropriate chores to children, emphasizing that responsibilities at home teach valuable life skills. I discuss how chores not only ease the burden on parents but also foster a sense of accountability and independence in kids. • Importance of teaching chores early • Age-specific responsibilities explained • Benefits of helping children take on tasks • Critical thinking and adapting strategies for your fa...
This episode dives into the importance of assigning age-appropriate chores to children, emphasizing that responsibilities at home teach valuable life skills. I discuss how chores not only ease the burden on parents but also foster a sense of accountability and independence in kids.
• Importance of teaching chores early • Age-specific responsibilities explained • Benefits of helping children take on tasks • Critical thinking and adapting strategies for your family • Preparing kids for independence through chores • Reflecting on parenting and setting expectations
It's not how you arrived at the title, but what you do with it.
Show Transcript
WEBVTT
00:00:01.360 --> 00:00:06.213 Hey, ladies, welcome to the Single Moms United podcast.
00:00:06.213 --> 00:00:12.487 If this is your first time joining, welcome If you are a repeat listener.
00:00:12.487 --> 00:00:14.673 Thank you for your loyalty.
00:00:14.673 --> 00:00:18.571 Hey, I'm not going to spend a lot of time with schematics today.
00:00:18.571 --> 00:00:20.949 We're going to jump right into our topic.
00:00:20.949 --> 00:00:23.946 It's about the chore chart for your children.
00:00:23.946 --> 00:00:40.493 We have to be teaching our children and setting them up for success as they leave our homes, and part of that is giving them responsibilities, congratulating them on when they do good or when they do bad, or correct them when they do bad.
00:00:40.899 --> 00:00:50.262 We're going to talk about chores today and age-specific chores our kids need to adhere to or you need to introduce.
00:00:50.262 --> 00:00:54.009 Keep in mind, this is not a one-size-fits-all.
00:00:54.009 --> 00:00:59.984 It's a one-size-fits-most so you do what's appropriate for you and your household.
00:00:59.984 --> 00:01:04.070 And this podcast is also about critical thinking.
00:01:04.070 --> 00:01:09.709 As I talk about different things, you may say, yeah, that may work in my house.
00:01:09.709 --> 00:01:13.691 Or you may say, no, it doesn't, but I'll try this.
00:01:13.691 --> 00:01:23.647 Or it does, and I'm gonna add this right, so it's not a one size fits all, but it's designed to make you think.
00:01:23.647 --> 00:01:32.135 And at the end of this podcast, mom, you should want and feel comfortable in giving your child chores to do.
00:01:32.135 --> 00:01:33.486 There are benefits.
00:01:33.486 --> 00:01:38.433 Number one you're teaching them how to be responsible.
00:01:38.433 --> 00:01:42.650 And then, number two, it's help for you, right?
00:01:42.650 --> 00:01:55.914 Especially if you have your day job and you're going out and doing extras that you need to do, it's always great to have that backup plan or that support you need to maintain your house.
00:01:56.260 --> 00:02:03.554 With my kids, I gave them responsibilities and they rotated them depending on what it was right.
00:02:03.554 --> 00:02:08.907 One can't say that oh yeah, I always had to do this, I always had to do that.
00:02:08.907 --> 00:02:13.729 No, they rotated each week and I taught them how to do their own laundry.
00:02:13.729 --> 00:02:16.247 I taught them how to clean the kitchen.
00:02:16.247 --> 00:02:18.808 I taught them how to clean the bathroom.
00:02:18.808 --> 00:02:20.485 Why is that important?
00:02:20.485 --> 00:02:29.221 With me being the only parent in the household, I needed that support because I worked every day.
00:02:29.221 --> 00:02:48.687 As a result of that, that took some of the pressure off of me, and so when they would do their chores and they do them correctly, then I would treat them out to a pizza or we'll go to a fun center or something like that, because now we can, because now mom isn't having to do all the chores in the household.
00:02:48.687 --> 00:02:59.709 So now I'm able to pay forward and it is a form of a payment right, and it's up to you whether you wanna give your child a little something or some type of reward.
00:02:59.709 --> 00:03:01.504 I would recommend it.
00:03:01.504 --> 00:03:05.663 Right, it doesn't have to be every week, maybe once a month.
00:03:05.663 --> 00:03:08.370 You wanna do something for him or her or them?
00:03:08.370 --> 00:03:09.271 I did.
00:03:09.271 --> 00:03:18.445 I gave my kids or took them out, did various activities with them every now and then, because, of course, I wasn't rich so I had to watch the pennies.
00:03:18.445 --> 00:03:22.288 But I would recommend you do that as well.
00:03:23.091 --> 00:03:25.445 All right, so what are we talking about today?
00:03:25.445 --> 00:03:28.582 Again, we're talking about chores by age.
00:03:28.582 --> 00:03:31.167 Again, not a one size fits all.
00:03:31.167 --> 00:03:41.105 You take this and say this is yes, no, maybe, or and or, but, but definitely something to consider.
00:03:41.445 --> 00:03:53.668 If your child is between the age of two and three, you want to encourage them maybe to throw away trash, wipe up spills, dust with a duster you may actually like that.
00:03:53.668 --> 00:03:57.709 Wipe the baseboards I mean, they're certainly short enough to do that.
00:03:57.709 --> 00:04:00.788 Place books on the shelf, if you have books.
00:04:00.788 --> 00:04:05.655 Put toys in bins and I know you have those, or they have toys everywhere.
00:04:05.655 --> 00:04:08.424 Definitely teach them how to put those up.
00:04:08.424 --> 00:04:11.129 Collect dirty clothes and put them in a hamper.
00:04:11.129 --> 00:04:12.760 Help clear the table.
00:04:12.760 --> 00:04:16.286 Oh, and water plants, if you have plants in your home.
00:04:16.286 --> 00:04:26.413 Definitely give them that task to do and rinse fruits and vegetables, and that's just simply just washing them off underwater.
00:04:26.413 --> 00:04:29.178 And that's at the age of two and three.
00:04:29.178 --> 00:04:38.091 Again, you may want to add something to this and that's absolutely awesome, because that's what this podcast is all about.
00:04:38.091 --> 00:04:42.829 It's about critical thinking, not just a one size fits all.
00:04:42.829 --> 00:04:44.112 All right.
00:04:44.112 --> 00:04:48.291 So ages four and five help dry the dishes.
00:04:48.680 --> 00:04:52.149 In my perspective, most folks have dishwashers.
00:04:52.149 --> 00:05:01.733 Now I would say, unload the dishwasher or load the dishwasher, put the plates in, and certainly you can help them with that.
00:05:01.733 --> 00:05:02.846 They can also help with laundry.
00:05:02.846 --> 00:05:04.254 You know, help load the washer and dryer if them with that.
00:05:04.254 --> 00:05:04.916 They can also help with laundry.
00:05:04.916 --> 00:05:08.326 You know, help load the washer and dryer if you have that.
00:05:08.326 --> 00:05:11.052 And even if you don't have a washer and dryer in your home.
00:05:11.519 --> 00:05:15.509 Now, when I first started, I had to take my clothes to the laundromat.
00:05:15.509 --> 00:05:23.312 My kids went with me, so you can still teach them this fundamental as it relates to laundry at the laundromat.
00:05:23.312 --> 00:05:28.704 Mom, okay, so don't get it twisted just because, oh, I don't have a washer and dryer in the house.
00:05:28.704 --> 00:05:29.887 You don't have to.
00:05:29.887 --> 00:05:35.040 If you are going to the laundromat, no issue there.
00:05:35.040 --> 00:05:39.321 Just make sure your child, or your children, are helping out in that way.
00:05:39.321 --> 00:05:43.526 Also, once you get there, laundry completed, help them.
00:05:43.526 --> 00:05:48.093 Teach them how to put their clothes away yeah, that's huge.
00:05:48.093 --> 00:05:52.973 Teach your child how to make their bed yeah, there's nothing wrong with that making a bed.
00:05:53.033 --> 00:06:11.593 Each day, mop small areas in the kitchen because, again, a lot of activity happens there and even in the bathrooms, getting in and out of the tub, water may splash here, there and everywhere in the bathrooms getting in and out of the tub, water may splash here, there and everywhere, or other accidents I'll call it an accident may happen.
00:06:11.593 --> 00:06:15.507 That floor may need to be mopped or cleaned up, right.
00:06:15.507 --> 00:06:27.778 So even though they may put a towel down and dry up, whatever the situation was, you still need to come back and sanitize that, and generally you do that by mopping.
00:06:27.778 --> 00:06:30.312 Okay, so they can do that.
00:06:30.312 --> 00:06:32.572 And especially, most bathrooms are small.
00:06:32.572 --> 00:06:41.211 So I would even recommend you start there and then maybe go to the kitchen, because kitchens are a little larger, have a little larger area.
00:06:41.211 --> 00:06:42.851 So start with the bathroom.
00:06:42.851 --> 00:06:50.468 If you have a pet, let them feed the pet little cat, dog, puppy, whatever, six and seven.
00:06:50.468 --> 00:06:52.113 Empty the dishwasher.
00:06:52.444 --> 00:07:04.048 Okay, we kind of talked about that these are just recommendations by age, but it's what you feel comfortable with your child and what they're prepared for Not every child.
00:07:04.048 --> 00:07:10.069 Just because age is listed here doesn't mean that you really abide by that.
00:07:10.069 --> 00:07:17.586 You go based on how mature your child is right or what you think they can handle.
00:07:17.586 --> 00:07:20.793 We're just identifying this by age.
00:07:20.793 --> 00:07:36.757 Right now, you may say my child needs to have done this at four and five, whereas some things you're like yeah, little Johnny ain't that mature yet, so I'm going to wait till he's eight before I have him to start doing this or that.
00:07:36.757 --> 00:07:45.899 The point is, as long as you start At six and seven, you can also have them start using a handheld vacuum sweeping the floors.
00:07:49.245 --> 00:08:05.915 Have them start using a handheld vacuum sweeping the floors, cleaning windows, wiping down bathroom sinks, sorting laundry, folding bath towels, prepare small snacks and help put away groceries yeah, all of those things they can start doing, so you can start preparing them for life.
00:08:05.915 --> 00:08:07.999 This is what it's all about.
00:08:07.999 --> 00:08:10.550 Mom, we're more than just moms.
00:08:13.319 --> 00:08:31.632 We have to be there for our children and make sure, as they round out life and go out on their own, that they have these capabilities and this knowledge on how to function in life and not wait for someone else to do it for them.
00:08:32.072 --> 00:08:35.081 Eight and nine-year-olds load the dishwasher.
00:08:35.081 --> 00:08:40.634 If your little baby can do it at four and five, then let them.
00:08:40.634 --> 00:08:44.389 You don't have to wait till they turn eight and nine Again.
00:08:44.389 --> 00:08:52.534 Wipe off the table, fold laundry, wipe counters, dust shelves, make up their bed, putting sheets on their bed.
00:08:52.534 --> 00:08:55.206 Help plan meals that's a huge one.
00:08:55.206 --> 00:09:00.345 Now they feel like they are more involved, as long as it ain't a bunch of junk food, right.
00:09:00.345 --> 00:09:01.187 But help them.
00:09:01.187 --> 00:09:03.673 Like what do you think we should eat this week?
00:09:05.236 --> 00:09:08.384 I think that's the word choice I want to look for there.
00:09:08.384 --> 00:09:41.018 If you have a house and you have leaves outside, then definitely encourage them to rake leaves, and that's it for eight nine year olds, but you can add additional items that you think that are appropriate to help your child mature, because this is not only are we teaching, but we're allowing them to become mature and develop independence as it relates to maintaining their life and lifestyle, and not waiting on someone to do it for them.
00:09:41.485 --> 00:09:46.889 All right, 10 and 11 year olds here we go with this laundry again, washing their clothes.
00:09:46.889 --> 00:09:51.833 Important, again, I had my kids washing their own laundry.
00:09:51.833 --> 00:10:20.576 Later on in life and I think it was around 10 or 11 that I had them doing their own laundry Preparing simple meals, taking out the garbage, washing mirrors, vacuuming the car, hand washing dishes Ain't nothing wrong with that either Mopping floors, vacuuming, putting groceries away and fixing their own lunch Because now they're going into getting prepared for the teen years.
00:10:20.576 --> 00:10:30.346 I hear you, these are things that we should get our kids in position for so that they can be successful 12 and up.
00:10:30.346 --> 00:10:40.649 So at this point, if you have younger kids, then 12 and up, they should be responsible enough to watch their siblings.
00:10:41.110 --> 00:11:03.691 Not long-term mom, okay, but maybe an hour or two while you need to run out to the grocery store or run some errands, yeah, let them watch the kids while you're out, or the other child while you're out Supervising chores, cleaning the bathroom I'm not sure how many people iron clothes anymore, but iron Prepare full meals.
00:11:03.691 --> 00:11:08.539 Now, this is huge, mom, when it's just you trying to get it done.
00:11:08.539 --> 00:11:14.635 You need that additional support, and your older child can do that for you.
00:11:14.635 --> 00:11:26.176 And then there's just many other household responsibilities that they can link to and be responsible for, and so you type or write these out.
00:11:26.176 --> 00:11:35.885 You can get your little whiteboard at the dollar store or Dollar Tree, write it out, put it on the refrigerator or somewhere they can see it.
00:11:35.885 --> 00:11:38.491 I'm trying to think how I did it with my kids.
00:11:38.491 --> 00:11:45.152 I think it was on a refrigerator, I had a schedule for them and it just rotated that way.
00:11:45.152 --> 00:11:50.668 But you can do that too, mom, this doesn't have to be complicated.
00:11:50.668 --> 00:11:53.476 This is your child, this is your children.
00:11:53.476 --> 00:11:58.148 These are the ones you're preparing for life.
00:11:58.528 --> 00:12:06.118 In prior episodes I talked about what's a good mom, what's a bad mom, or rather, was a good parent was a bad parent?
00:12:06.118 --> 00:12:09.020 A good parent teaches period.
00:12:09.020 --> 00:12:13.793 A good parent teaches, bad parent does not.
00:12:13.793 --> 00:12:18.206 Because you have to consider, mom, you're not always going to be here.
00:12:18.206 --> 00:12:40.375 Hopefully you outlive your children, but you're able to see their success of what you taught them a long life's journey that they have to be responsible Because, remember, they're going to have to go out and get a job too, and when they go out and get a job, there are expectations to do that job right.
00:12:40.375 --> 00:12:53.698 So if we're not teaching them responsibility now, what's it going to be like when they get out in the real world and they're being held accountable for doing their job or not doing their job.
00:12:54.304 --> 00:13:10.865 You know, along my career I always had performance evaluations of how well I did my job or do my job or do my job.
00:13:10.865 --> 00:13:13.812 And my behavior that has been instilled with me along life's journey is because my mom had me doing chores.
00:13:13.812 --> 00:13:22.014 She had a garden and she had me out there working in her garden, picking the vegetables and bringing them in and washing them.
00:13:22.014 --> 00:13:26.955 She had me sweeping, she had me vacuuming, she had me taking the garbage out.
00:13:26.955 --> 00:13:31.371 She had me doing numerous things around the house.
00:13:31.371 --> 00:13:40.975 And I'm grateful for that, because now, as I got into working, you know all of this wasn't foreign to me.
00:13:41.456 --> 00:13:51.164 If somebody told me to do something, I'm familiar with that because my mom instilled that in me along my journey of childhood.
00:13:51.164 --> 00:14:09.183 It was never anything of it being given to me and it was funny or it is funny, or rather it was funny back then my mom would tell me to do something and if I didn't get it quite right, she would say stop being so half-handed.
00:14:09.183 --> 00:14:16.282 Now you know you needed to do this or you needed to do that and da-da-da-da-da.
00:14:16.282 --> 00:14:31.301 And you know, at first I was like, oh okay, and of course when I was growing up you couldn't even think any negative thoughts, because she heard you I'm just talking about when I was growing up.
00:14:31.301 --> 00:14:39.623 She would say stop being half-handed, and that was her term for not doing it correctly or getting it done right.
00:14:39.623 --> 00:14:41.794 And I so appreciate that.
00:14:41.794 --> 00:14:50.667 I do appreciate that because now I have a better understanding of what she was trying to teach me.
00:14:51.467 --> 00:15:05.605 Right, because anything you do half-hearted is a mess, is incomplete, and what do you accomplish by half doing stuff right?
00:15:05.605 --> 00:15:15.519 So it may look good on the outside, but there's still other things behind the scenes that didn't get taken care of because you chose not to give it your all.
00:15:15.519 --> 00:15:25.004 And that's what we have to instill in our kids Don't go and just do a piece of it, do it in its entirety.
00:15:25.004 --> 00:15:33.831 When you get in the workforce, they are not going to accept you just doing it halfway or it being incomplete.
00:15:33.831 --> 00:15:40.602 They are paying you to do a job and do the job and be complete with it, period.
00:15:40.602 --> 00:15:49.357 And that's our time to educate our children so that when they get in the workforce, all of this is informed to them.
00:15:49.830 --> 00:16:06.312 That's why kids don't stay on jobs today or to appreciate that somebody's gonna be telling you what to do and then they get all up in the uproar because so-and-so, they can't take feedback from their boss.
00:16:06.312 --> 00:16:07.634 Why can't they?
00:16:07.634 --> 00:16:17.508 Because, yeah, mom is probably a mom or a parent that chose not to do that with their child or be firm with their child and said you know what?
00:16:17.508 --> 00:16:19.751 You're not going to do it, I'll go ahead and do it for you.
00:16:21.552 --> 00:16:34.966 That's not good behavior that we're trying to instill in our children of saying, okay, yeah, you go ahead and go outside or go back to playing your video games and I'll finish it up, nope, nope, nope, nope.
00:16:34.966 --> 00:16:37.631 That's not good mom.
00:16:37.631 --> 00:16:44.369 That's not setting good expectations with your kids on what is required to survive in this world.
00:16:44.369 --> 00:16:45.634 Think about that.
00:16:45.634 --> 00:16:50.662 We're talking about survival and you can't do it all for them.
00:16:50.662 --> 00:17:03.120 All right, ladies, y'all got me all worked up over here, but I'm worked up for a good reason and that's because we are in this together.
00:17:03.120 --> 00:17:15.490 We should unite together as parents to make sure our kids are successful and given the tools on how to be successful.
00:17:16.432 --> 00:17:17.836 And it's not about money.
00:17:17.836 --> 00:17:21.082 Everybody thinks success and money go together.
00:17:21.082 --> 00:17:24.973 No, success and independence goes together.
00:17:24.973 --> 00:17:35.401 I'm just saying because otherwise, if you have to rely on somebody to get what you need, I'm sorry that it goes against the word of success.
00:17:35.401 --> 00:17:39.540 Success is linked to independence and knowledge.
00:17:39.540 --> 00:17:47.941 That's what it means to be successful, not money, because when you have independence and knowledge, the money will come.
00:17:47.941 --> 00:18:02.170 Yeah, but when you don't have that independence and you have to rely on someone else or you're failing to go out and get that knowledge, then your success level has just dwindled down significantly.
00:18:02.971 --> 00:18:07.222 So, mom, teach your child about independence.
00:18:07.222 --> 00:18:12.997 Teach your child to always be learning, and not just them, but you too.
00:18:12.997 --> 00:18:26.756 Mom, every week, you should write down what you learned this week, whether it's how to cook a new dish, whether you learned how to fix something in your home, whether you learned how to and, if you like, wearing makeup.
00:18:26.756 --> 00:18:33.736 Maybe you learned how to apply makeup in a different manner that now really makes you look sharp and beautiful.
00:18:33.736 --> 00:18:35.259 Right, and that's okay.
00:18:35.259 --> 00:18:39.015 It doesn't have to be something huge that you learn.
00:18:39.015 --> 00:18:43.462 Just learn something and then pay it forward to your child.
00:18:43.462 --> 00:18:50.604 Yeah, because once they see that you're learning, they, they're like hmm, that seems interesting.
00:18:50.604 --> 00:18:56.980 I see mom over there doing this and that and, especially if it's something positive, I want to do that too.
00:18:56.980 --> 00:18:59.049 Yeah, always be learning.
00:18:59.391 --> 00:19:09.653 And, as I mentioned in the past, mom, put the phone down for one hour or put it on mute or airplane mode One hour.
00:19:09.653 --> 00:19:13.682 Spend some time with your child or your children.
00:19:13.682 --> 00:19:15.154 What's going on?
00:19:15.154 --> 00:19:18.038 Further, build that relationship with them.
00:19:18.038 --> 00:19:39.849 What you will find is that once you do that and I know a lot of young ladies talk about that, they're lonely and so forth, and they want to be back in a relationship about that, they're lonely and so forth, and they want to be back in a relationship but once you start developing a different type of relationship with your child and getting to know them yeah, we don't know our children.
00:19:40.171 --> 00:19:48.583 We think we do because we had them, but we don't know them, especially as they get older and they start getting exposed to more and more things in life.
00:19:48.583 --> 00:19:53.513 Start getting exposed to more and more things in life.
00:19:53.513 --> 00:19:56.282 Yeah, you're going to have to take that time and get to know them and understand who they are.
00:19:56.282 --> 00:20:06.192 Just because they got your blood running through their veins doesn't mean that it's 100% representation of who they are and what they represent.
00:20:06.192 --> 00:20:11.836 And that's why, when they come to us with different things and we're looking like, wait, I would never do that.
00:20:11.836 --> 00:20:13.234 What are you talking about?
00:20:13.234 --> 00:20:25.001 That's because they've developed their own identity, their own personality, and we have to take that time to learn that person, who they are, what they represent.
00:20:25.001 --> 00:20:28.478 All right, ladies, I am really done this time.
00:20:28.478 --> 00:20:37.103 I hope you have a great day, a wonderful week and a marvelous month.
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